 |
| Happy cake faces |
In the last 6 weeks both my minis have had birthdays. I'm sure I'm not unusual in getting really sentimental about it........Or maybe I am and I'm just a particularly sappy sort of person... ..Yep probably that because I start my sentimental fest even a few days leading up to their birthdays. I can't help but remember what I was doing, how I was feeling and what was about to happen.
With Mini-Man I was a good few days overdue and took a spur of the moment trip to IKEA with Man, his brother and his "friend", who is now my beloved sister-in-law. What a dumb idea. IKEA is exhausting on a normal day, never mind over pregnant and waddling like a boss. In the car home all these weird cramps began and I put it down to some sort of pregnancy related IKEA allergy, but little did I know it was my body telling me I was about to go into labour. I can't go to IKEA anymore without getting a little pang of love for my little man. Who knew, flat pack Swedish designed furniture could be so emotional. You see, massive SAP.
With Mini-Me, we had some minor issews and they were inducing me. The day my induction was booked we took little Man out for his last outing as an only child and I cried when he drove away with his Nanna. I realised his little life was never to be the same and he had no idea. I wondered if I could love two babies the same. (side note: you can't help yourself, you most certainly can and do. Your heart just expands, instantly). I often get caught up in the moment, and driving to the hospital I felt like my heart was bursting - with excitement, nerves, anticipation, breathless to see my daughters face, and just the knowledge that something life changing was about to happen, to all of us. And then we stopped at subway. LOL. Life. Going about the mundane with feelings that are anything but hidden away. So yeah, Subway makes me sentimental too. (Eye Roll).
Anyway I'll not launch into birth stories or anything of that sort....but all this sentimentality about my minis got me thinking about the things no books could prepare me for....(in no particular order)
How much you really do love them. It sounds corny, but its true. You love them before they are even born. And truly I am no hero in saying I would throw myself in front of a bus if it meant protecting either of them. Every parent I know would do the same thing. Also you love them even more when they are asleep. True story.
How connected it continues to make me feel to my fellow humans. (Not all the time, there are those days and nights where you feel enormously alone and isolated...) But I mean it in the sense that every person I see - I realise that's someone's kid who said someone would jump in front of a bus for. It makes me go a bit easier on annoying people, or teenage checkout people who take fooooreeeeeveeer while I am wrestling my two kids to stay in the trolley...It makes me smile a bit more at wild children at the shopping centre (my own included) and sob my heart out when I hear of babies and children who pass away. It makes me cry for days when I see fatal car wrecks because somebody's baby just died. It made me realise all the more how much we are all in this together.
How vulnerable it makes you feel. Not only are your developing parenting skills (or lack thereof) on display for friends, strangers, family and society at large to see and comment upon, but little people who you love with your entire being, are walking around in the world, vulnerable to all the not so nice things out there - bullies, rejection, criticism, sickness, bad haircuts - and you realise you are powerless, and perhaps do them a dis-service, by protecting them from it all. Someone once said to me, it's like taking your heart out of your body - and setting it free to walk around and do whatever it likes. So if you're a parent, I promise you are doing better than you give yourself credit for. And if you're not - go easy on your friends who are - especially new ones....they are trying their very best and will return to normal one day. Be patient, they're on a steep learning curve.
The mess. Dear Lord the mess. I consider myself pretty ordered and tidy (man disagrees but that's a whole other post. We once didn't talk for days over a dispute about who was more tidy...I digress) and still I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.
How many moments of pure joy can be squeezed into a day. Sometimes you have moments that could burst your heart with happiness (and other days you wonder why the hell you ever thought kids was a good idea)....and every day, they find something that reminds you - there really is joy and wonder in everything. Even a cardboard box. They really do remind me to stop and smell the roses, to remember how great the little things are. Soft blankets, sprinklers on a hot day, crazy twisty straws, ice cream and all creatures great and small. They remind me of all the wonder out there.
Herewith enjoy below some snippets of my Sentimental Journey
 |
| From this.... |
 | |
| To this....... |
 |
| From this.... |
 | |
| To this...... |
And my personal favourite...
 |
| From this... |
 |
| To this.... |
No comments:
Post a Comment