I can't stop staring at teenage boys

Yep. You read that right. I can't stop staring at teenage boys. Sounds dodgy I know..and it's not helpful that I have an unfortunate like for lame tween things like Twilight*, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Swift and Zac Efron and that I appear to have a penchant for liking younger men......When I say penchant, it was one younger man, but I did end up marrying him. So I suppose one could consider that a 'penchant'.

Let me try and dig myself out this hole. It's not them (the teenage boys), it's me. That's still not helping is it? Ok let me explain......When I see teenage boys, about the 16-ish mark, it's like a magnet and I can't help but look and smile and watch them in their sometimes awkward way. Ok I'm digging a deeper hole aren't I?

See this is the thing. Everyday, I am reminded that soon, sooner than it feels, my mini man will be a teenager. Everyday there are little reminders that he has grown into a little boy, who will soon be a big boy, who will even sooner be a teenage boy.

Just the other day I was tying his laces on his 'cool shoes' (they aren't, but he is convinced they are) and he puts his chubby little hand (and grubby) on my face and says, "Tank you washing my clothes Mommy, I la you so much, all a time." (Translation: I love you so much, all the time)

Oh. I cried.

And then yesterday we were in a rush, he was faffing around with his shoes, I was annoyed and telling him to hurry up. He calmly says, "Mummy you need calm down, I not faffing, I be ready soon."

Oh. I laughed. And apologised.

Soon and very soon he will be taller than me, sound more like a man and probably smell like one too. I probably won't be told on a daily basis how much he loves me. Soon, I won't know every tiny detail of  his day. Sooner, he won't drop what he is doing and run to greet me and smother me in kisses. One day I will get one word - "How was your day?" - "Good"- monosyllabic teenage boy answers.  One day, I won't be told "Mommy, you are my heart."

Oh. I cried. Again.

I see those teenage boys and I see my son.

I see those teenage boys and I see my husband.

Man was about 16 when we first became friends and I thought he was rather interesting and cool. I remember him so well and so clearly in his tall and super skinny, intense, open-hearted, optimistic, ready to change the world, beardless, hairless chest, teenage-ness.

To me (and this might be the moronic words of one to not yet parent a teenager), there is something beautiful about those teenage years. I dunno, to be on the cusp of manhood (or womanhood) - in a perfect world - there's so much ahead. So much adventure, so much possibility - it's that perfect balance of enough child to be tender and optimistic and open-hearted..... and enough adult to be independent, capable and mature.

I see those teenage boys and I see my past.

I see those teenage boys and I see my future.


I see those teenage boys and am reminded how quickly life changes.

I see those teenage boys and I remember to enjoy right now. To soak up every moment.

See, I'm not a total creep. I can't stop staring in a sentimental sort of way, classic me. They look right through me in my 4WD with my car seats and bloody toys dangling in the window. So it's not like a creepy staring, it's like staring in a mum way. And lets face it, that's exactly what I am. 

* I do like cool things too, like The Bill, Better Homes and Gardens, and also Australian Women's Weekly Magazine. PS: I actually do genuinely like one of the above mentioned. I'll let you be the judge of which and judge me accordingly. ;-)


See, look how quickly this has escalated. Before I know it I will be drowning Lynx deodorant and stinky shoes. And I will love it.