Love and War

Man and I had a fight (or two) this week. I know, I know, you're wondering how on earth anyone could be angry with someone like me? Me too. How could anyone disagree or not see things the same way as me? Clearly I am reasonable, intelligent, humorous, always appropriate, never short-tempered or unreasonable, never selfish, a clear communicator and obviously always right (also clearly deluded and a smidge self-righteous). It feels like that sometimes doesn't it. I should add at this juncture that I don't really think those things about myself..well except for the humorous part. Nobody loves their own jokes as much as me.

Maybe that's the mystery of marriage and relationships - how anyone could possibly not see things my way or completely misunderstand something that seemed clear to me.

As with most fights, it started with a comment from one side that wouldn't be said unless said party thought the comment was honest and fair. Clearly, said comment sparked some fear or insecurity, or previous irritation in the recipient and well, it went from there. Do you ever have those fights, where in the midst of lots of angry words you stop and think to yourself (in the same voice as the guy from Anchorman) - that escalated fast.

Someone (probably Hallmark) once said, be kind to everyone because you never know what kind of struggles they are facing. I think its easy to do that with strangers but if you're anything like me, its sometimes hard to do that with people you love. Sometimes you're so familiar with their struggles you grow accustomed to them, or even get frustrated with the recurring ones. Sometimes your own struggles shout so much louder than theirs.

It's hard to hear other people sometimes. I mean really hear them. Especially when it means hearing some things about yourself that aren't so nice or things you feel are justified. Or things you feel they don't understand. It's hard to hear it when you think, well hang on, I have a list as long as yours! But I suppose, ultimately, despite the feeling of swallowing razor blades, its worth it.

Being honest is the only way to really know the heart of another. It's the only way to let them know what's really in yours. And what feels sweeter than love, than peace and feeling understood and valued? There's nothing quite like the feeling of love, of knowing your heart is safe in the hands of another.

I'll eat razorblades (figuratively) for that. To maintain that. To treasure that. To be 100 years old and still have that.

Not to worry, all is well in our little world and we found our way back to the middle, back to home and back to not shouting at each other in silence.

In a tribute to love and war and the up ands downs of love, here's a song that I think sums up how one feels when someone you loves has wounded you. That mixture of being so hurt and angry, but still, somewhere in there, is the love and tenderness you feel for that person. *




* Interesting trivia - the female half of this duo recently had a baby boy and gave her son the same name we chose for our Mini. So not only is she clearly a lyrical and vocal wonder, she also has smashing taste. Admiration high-five