Tuesday, June 26, 2012

That which is, not what isn't

Like anyone who's had a baby, there are days (...ok everyday) where I look at my body and purse my lips slightly. It's not quite what it was before. I can't pretend I was some supermodel pre-Mini, because most of you reading this probably know me, and would therefore question my vision or out me and my outlandish lies. Pre-Mini I actually spent a lot of time dieting and whining that I wasn't how I'd like to be. Truthfully I have a lot of glamorous friends who post-baby look exactly as they did before and I should maybe unfriend them on principle, but that seems unfair. It's hardly their fault they are genetically superior to me (or more self-disciplined). I digress. I look back on photos of myself and from where I sit now, I think I look pretty good. Back then, I sure didn't. I was pining for what I didn't have (a size 8 bum). Now here I sit, pining for what I had then (a bigger than size 8 bum), not what I have now (a bigger, than bigger than size 8 bum).

There really are so many opportunities in life to mourn over what is not. Or what was.

I recently found this old photo of my parents. They're not together anymore. They split after about 25 years together. I am well within my bounds to mourn for the relationship that is no more. And I did...and sometimes still do. But I looked at them in the photo and saw the obvious love, fun and affection there. I decided why not celebrate what was. The real friendship and love, the raising of a little family together, all the happy times we had. And there were so many. And will be more, but in a different way. If I spent all my time pining for what was, I'd have missed what is right now. And right now, both have grown amazingly as individuals and both have built new, happy lives. I'm not saying there isn't pain for what was, but you have to see the good things, because no matter the circumstance, they're always there, even if they're hiding a bit.

Vintage Mum and Dad

Celebrate what was and don't mourn what is not. Otherwise you miss the magic of right now, and suddenly, you'll be looking back wishing for your bigger than size 8 bum.

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1 comment:

  1. Oh i am with you here honey. Celebrate! Mourning is for funerals not for life...

    Oh and about bums, my trainer said my new favourite thing to me last night "Strong is the new skinny!" and that is when i really feel great...not when i have starved myself into size 8 jeans.

    Why do we women punish ourselves when the average size of women in Australia is 14....8 is for children and women not related to me...

    Like i said today honey bee you have a gift and that is divine...Work with what you have and what you love... 'All else is trite and empty in comparison'(Gibran)

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